Here's BigBaz's guide to spot a potential Wu-Rider. I don't know why I'm into all this Wu-Riding stuff but I'm sick of it, I get the crap not only on the internet but stupid titheads at school. Here goes. 1. He/she is sporting Wu-Wear. I must admit I got one of their shirts through mail order but a rider won't actually admit they got it from mail order, they'll say how one of their cousins out of Da Shaolin sent them a shirt and it wasn't paid for cause their cousin are down with the Wu. Please most people will see right through. 2. Starts referring to their house not only as their crib or pad but their chamber. 3. Sports Tommy Hilfiger, yeah I know, loads o' people wear Tommy Hill but a true rider will wear TH with their Wu-Wear rags, just to rub it in a little bit more that they're well and truly on Wu's Tang-a-lang. 4. Speech drastically changes for a Wu-Rider. Before the riders ever became riders words such as man and dude were used in everyday talk. After the Wu came out riders will use words such as god, sun, cipher, chamber and other bitten words straight from a Wu album. 5. Develops a fucking stupid nickname in Wu style with gambino trimmings such as: John Peerson becomes PZA aka Chamber Maid aka Johnny Macaroni. For your own good, I advise you to stay away from these kinds of people, even on the internet and that includes Jesse McDonald aka Dead Poets aka Phza aka every goddamn name there is, he's a Wu-Rider and but keeps denying it. Denial eh? That's a pretty good sign to me. 6. You see he or she walk down the street and for some reason he/she eye seems to be blind. Obviously a clean rip off of Meths dead eye but they'll give you a crummy excuse on how a homeless guy attacked them with ninja sword. Just fucking typical of a rider. I have not at this time seen anyone with gold fangs, but I'll let you know if I do. 7. Starts referring to his/her money as CREAM. 8. For some strange reason he/she moves from watching dramas and action films such as Waiting to Exhale and Die Hard to hardcore kung-fu flicks such as Return of the Bastard Swordsman and Killer Priests. By the way this change in taste will happen over night and may encourage the supposed rider to take kung fu lessons at the local dojo for the real Wu Tang experience when in reality the Wu-Tang experience is sitting in a Lex with a bag o' buddah and a 40oz, lounging. 9. Suddenly thinks that all West Coast stuff is shit and claims that the RZA is the greatest musical genius since Mozart 10. Starts to think that he/she should start he/she's own Wu click to battle the bloods and crips of the city. This is pure insanity and I've actually heard this gesture on a school bus going home. This complex also comes off with the fact that he/she will flash Wu handsigns at passersby. He/she will also try and come up with ways to make handsigns for the GZA and ODB. That somes it up, some of the above I've spotted in heads, I have yet to find all ten, if you know anyone with all ten of these complications call the SWAT Team and by the way feel free to add to the list of Ways to Spot a Wu-Rider. Peace out BigBaz. Cousin of Scientiffic Shabbaz, Mathematic Shabaz (Psyche, just playing again.) --------------- I'm adding to the list, I've thought of more stuff and I'd just like to share it all with you out there. 11. Stupid Bastards get on this 'Wu can I get a Su'. For the next few weeks all you'll hear from that guy is 'Wu can I get a Su' All the time, it's like it was with those Deez Nuts jokes so a typical conversation with a rider will go like this. "Hey What's up Man" "Wu Can I get a Su" "So how's your bro?" "Wu can I get a Su" "You heard Genius new album" At this point he will come round because anything Wu related will get his attention. But be warned once you get a rider on the Wu subject he will not stop and BigBaz here recommends a good slap upside the head if you want to shut him up. 12. Keeps rattling about the supposed Wu-Movie. Keeps saying how phat it's going to be, that John Woo going to direct, how's it's going to get Best everything in the oscars and Blah, blah, blah. Once again if you encounter anyone like this then slap him upside the head. 13. Starts comparing Wu-Wear too Tommy Hilfiger. In my eyes Wu-Wear is shit, I have a t-shirt and all I can say is that I could've made it my self. It's got that really stinky paint on that washes off when you wash it too much. Wu-Riders will some how get it in their Wu-infested heads that Wu-Wear is gods gift to fashion and it gives them a sense of belonging in the clan and make them feel good. Shit, stupid arses, if you want to feel good you smoke a sack not prance around in your Wu-Wear. 14. Some girl e-mailed this to me. She said that certain Wu-Rider blokes use the fact they are down with the Wu to pickup girls. Sounds Like a Jesse McPhza move to me. "Hey girls wanna get with me, I'm wearing Wu wear which means I'm down with the Wu, I am the Wu, I own the Wu, wanna get with me baybe.........SLAP, KAPOW, KNEE TO THE NUTS." 15. Certain riders on the internet will start philosophizing about the Wu. "To Wu or not to Wu? That is the question." Occasionaly you'll get a few of them who'll start researching Wu slang and front that their wise, poets and can prophesize like the GZA on his album. "Tical, Tical is a pyramid from Egypt that is shaped like a Pyramid, they grew method inside the pyramids and Tical was the god of Method, Method Man is todays prophet of Tical like Mohammed was the prophet of islam" I know it wasn't exactly to those words but spare me the bullshit, I'm sick of it. 16. Rider's living on the West Coast will suddenly want to visit New York and live the real Wu-Tang experience. Well this sounds stupid enough but somehow they believe that if they go to the Wu-Store they will meet the Wu and can live happily ever after. What the fucks, pure insanity man. Shit if you send some Wu-Riding white suburban kid into New York I'd give him about 30 mintues to live, he wouldn't know shit, he'll run off into an alley and suck his thumb. 17. Thinks the Ol Dirty Bastard would make a good singer just because he listened to the beginning of Goin' Down. You know that bit when he says do you remember when we were kids we use to go UUUURRRRRURURRRRRRRRRAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. For some reason a Wu-Rider will think this is very talented of ODB and thinks ODB should sing for the New York Symphony Orchestra. 18. Some riders will take Wu lyrics and make them into their own such as 'Shame on you to when you step through Ol Dirty Jesse, Rider Zoo.' Others include Investigative Reports, you know that bit when U'God goes 25 to lifers, back stabbers etc. A rider will go, ' Surbaban wite kids, skateboarders, no crimers, hocus pocus, lovely flowers, nice neighborhood Investigative Reports.' 19. For some reason the a rider from the suburbs will think his neighborhood is like the slums. I wonder why, I know maybe it's because the Wu are from the slums. Silly me 20. Starts reciting dumb Wu intro in front of the mirror. "The Shaolin and Wu-Tang could be dangerous. I challenge you to a dual, lets begin then, En Garde Soft One." When riders start talking to themselves in the mirror it's time to call the SWATS. This is BigBaz, saying Cherry-Ho, feel free to add to the list anytime. PEACE to the GOds and Earths and tooth fairies and Santa Clause. BigBaz aka Blah, blah, blah ---------------------- Yet again more Wu riding reasons, this is part three of how many postings it needs to take. If you want the first and second parts ask someone for 'em cause I didn't save 'em. But that's only if you want them course people seem to think its funny but this is real life man, well most of it his anyway. 21. A rider will start representing Wu on a daily basis and will try and get his non riding mateys in on it. "Hey man, I'm down wit Wu, how about our click representing Wu in Seattle." People like this are odd, strange and fixated on the clan mentality, give em' a kick in the balls. 22. Starts to give his click nicknames too, even if they don't want you to name you different a rider will always give a name you've never heard of before or it's straight off a Wu album "Yo Starks" "Starks? My name ain't Starks it's Neville" "Yo Starks pass the baking soda" "What the fuck, my name ain't starks and i have no baking soda." "Yo Starks, 2 for fives down the way" "For the fucking last time my name ain't Starks, what you smoking?" This is a good time to worry, get ye mate into an insititution right away. 23. Once a Wu-Rider gets all the Wu-Tang CD's a rider will want to get all the CD wiht Wu Cameos and this will be their misson until they have every single CD. It's a pain in the arse cause if you have a rider mate each time you buy a CD the rider will ask if a Wu member is on it. "I got Nirvana today" "Yo, is it got Ghost in it" "Sure Curt Cobains Ghost, with 12 gauge holes to the dome." 24. A rider will want to know all the Wu-Tangs aliases and how they got them. Fights may appear within rider clicks when the argument, is Johnny Blaze named after a comic book hero or a GI JOE toy with the kung fu grip. Arguments will flare over such stupid things, shame really. 25. Riders will start comparing the Wu's voclist Blue Rasberry wiht diva's such as Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson. Riders will say Blue Rasberry is fine even though there's been no photo in any magazine and arguments can arise over her alias even though she hasn't got one, some will say Blue Rasberry doesn't have one or others will say her alias is called Juicy Melons. 26. A rider with no drawing skil what so ever will try and make a Wu-Tang comic just because Meth likes comics. The result is a piece of shit. 27. Riders will come up with their own abbreviations such as CREAM AND BIBLE. Such as WALDO. WU ALLEGIANCE. LAYS. DOWN OTHERS and CHARTER CASH. HAS. ANYONE. ROBBED. THE. EMPTY. REGISTER. My own is PAW. PEOPLE AGAINST WUING 28. Riders will think that one story the GZA wrote out of the songs on the back of Liquid Swords is the greatest form of writng in history and will probably have the CD framed and mounted. 29. People will post messages on tis board about who's the dumbest of Wu. But in actual fact the poster is dumb for asking a rider question, who cares, Wu make music, we buy music, that's all we need to know. 30. I think this post is shit, I'll try and think up better ones next times, I'm out PEACE TO THE GODS, EARTHS AND OTHER THINGS THAT ARE MYSTERIOUS AND STRANGE BigBaz