This posting is intended to help those new to
rec.music.hip-hop, or those of you new to hip hop and the
internet even, understand the goings on and inner workings
of one of the best known and read newsgroups on the
internet. 

1. What is RMHH?

RMHH is a usenet newsgroup dedicated to the art of bitching,
whining, and catfights. Occasionally you'll get an
intelligent post delving into what drives hip hop, a post
that digs beneath the surface, and threads that will provoke
thoughtful discussion about anything from politics, to race,
to basketball and Ramen, all with a hip hop twist.
Sometimes. But usually you'll get "Ya'll some nerd ass soft
niggas." and "Faggot ass."

2. How Will I get Noticed?

Easy. Alter Ego. It has long been a staple of the regular
posters repertoire. All you gotta do is find a cutesy name,
and then proceed to dis the shit out of everyone in the
newsgroup. Instant "Platinum" thread status((C) Legondary
Sensaye) and discussion like the kind described in the above
paragraph (i.e. "You a faggot ass nerd nigga") will bloom
with amazing speed.

3. What do I do when involved in a heated debate?

Also easy. Front like you're a hard ass, and give street
credentials (real or not). Because who can be bothered with
actually discussing shit point by point and coming to
conclusions? All you gotta do is be a "net thug" and use
multiple slurs and epithets (although the word "crab" is
looked down upon, and should only be used in very specific
situations)

4. What is netiquette?

Something to be ignored at all costs, unless you want to be
labeled as a herb. Accepted means of communication include
POSTING IN ALL CAPS or it's more "arty" companion, the
PoStinG StyLe Of RanDomLY CapITalIzINg LetTers and spelling
shit like a 40 year old A&R at Columbia would think the rap
audience would appreciate. Examples include "DMX iz tite,
sun!!!" and "TuPaC WuZ thA DopEsT RapPeR Ov dA WesS CoASt
Foo!" It's advised you mix and match these styles to come
up with the most aesthetically pleasing post to your eyes.

Also, try to pepper your vocabulary with terms such as the
following:

Faggot
Bitch Ass
Crab Ass
Homo
Chickenhead

And any other term that can be used to strip away the
masculinity of a poster, as to avoid conceding a point.

5. Should a particularly heated thread be taken to email?

NEVER. This deprives RMHH of it's heart and soul, plus the
meat of it's entertainment value. Usually a big disagreement
between one "whiteboy backpacker nerd bitch" and a "thug
na'msayin" poster on the subject of, say, the new J-Live
record, will disintegrate into general compromises and half
hearted apologies once taken to email, causing the angry,
pointless and often banal arguments to wither and die in
private, without an audience. thi is NOT acceptable, by any
means. And no matter what some posters may say ("be the
bigger man," "Ya'll should chill,") NEVER leave without
getting in the last word. Trust me. You will be a man among
boys in the eyes of the RMHH populace.

6. What artists are okay to talk about?

Oh, you can talk about ANY artist you want. But if you want
responses, you must make sure to talk about the latest
Rawkus or Fondle' Em reject who just went tin. Popular
rappers, such as Jurassic 5 and Dilated Peoples, get some
play, but if you happen to think extremely popular rappers
like Common and Mos Def will get you play in RMHH...be
prepared for the rain of insults. Occasionally, discussion
on more known rappers will pop up, but this is an anomaly,
and not to be expected in the least. Just ignore these.

7. I want to meet up online with heads who graf, DJ, and
break. Is RMHH a good place to do it?

(chuckle. Derisive laughter.)

8. I'm not known for my quick sense of humor. I can't detect
sarcasm well. Will RMHH be okay for me?

Sure. You'll fit right in. You'll be perfect if you also
a)take things way too seriously, b)have thin skin and, c)
take criticism as personal insult. These are the spices that
make RMHH the hip hop gumbo it is on the internet. 

9. Will I meet girls here?

Most certainly. RMHH has boasted a high number of female
posters since it's inception. 1998 was a record year for
female regulars, with a total reaching the high single
digits. Make them even more welcome by asking for their
picture, bugging them on Instant Message, and posting about
how most females you've met are chickenhead bitches. Long
discussions about ass and tits are also especially inviting,
and will score points with potential cyber sex partners
lurking in the RMHH green room.

10. I rap, have an album, plus am selling things on Ebay. Is
it okay to advertise on this newsgroup?

Why, sure! Some other, more uptight, nerdy, crab ass
newsgroups sometimes, depending on the type of post, call
these posts "Spam." Not the free spirits and pioneering
individuals at rec.music.hip-hop. While some Spam is
unsavory, most types are as good as it's meat by product
namesake. This way, you're sure that people across the world
over will know about your rare 12 inch of "Rosa Parks" you
have for auction at Ebay, because you can't trust people to
just visit the site of their own volition. RMHH is proud to
prevent this service to you, the business minded poster. The
best way to reach your customers is to post the same
message, repeatedly, typing the header in all caps. 

11. What is "Underground?"

music made by and for "backpackers." If you sell more than
10,000 copies of your record, you knowledgeably forfeit all
underground status, and must prepare for imminent backlash. 

12. What are "backpackers?"

readers of RMHH.

This concludes what has hopefully been a insightful and
helpful look into how RMHH works, and how RMHH can work for
you. We look forward to your posts, and hope you can build
with us for an effective, refreshing take on hip hop in the
new millenium. Remember, keep it to the basics: Bitch and
Whine whenever possible, avoid logic when a personal attack
(why use "herb," when "faggot" is available?) works better,
On Topic posts are usually frowned upon, and alter egos of
your online alter ego are the move.

Let's Build,
Fatboy